I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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