two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
