i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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