If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm passing your future prison.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
