i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
