Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
