just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
