Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
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and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
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Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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