my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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