they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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