yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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