If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
