3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Someone shit on the floor
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
