I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Boobs speak an international language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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