What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
