What a fucking waste of an outfit
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
