can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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