Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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