I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
