can we get nightvision for the apartment?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
