he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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