after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
