38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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