The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
