yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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