wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
