...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
