Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
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She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
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Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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