some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
