Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
