I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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