You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
