Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
drinking out of a sandbucket again
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
