and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
