bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
