you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
