I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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