I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I need a beard to bite.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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