i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Randomize
