What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
