I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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