So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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