Will you blow on my dice?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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