Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
