when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
