I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
