Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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