onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
