Kiss
Puke
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
