david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
