No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
