im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
