We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
