We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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