So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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