I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
