im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
