Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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