everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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