I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Randomize
