How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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