so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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