today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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